It’s Friday night, time I wrote my blog. I must keep on thinking of something interesting to say, to write. The thing is sometimes there is nothing left to say, or so it seems.
Take today for instance, my spin class was great and I finally felt like I was succeeding. Sweat dripped from my head as I legged it home, jumped in the shower before driving to meet a friend for lunch. Drinking my tea I thumbed through a coaching book as I waited. I have been a therapist for 16 years and so pages of teaching on listening really are totally worthless to me. I continued to flick through whilst my friend parked her car. Suddenly the pages seemed far more useful and, having asked for some paper I wrote this phrase as she pushed open the door of the cafe.
Creating trust- the risk of vulnerability.
Now I sit and wonder if I have anything useful to say on the subject?
Going back to lunch with my friend reveals something of what it means to be trusted and trustworthy, and also to be vulnerable.
Coaching and friendship.
We have only known each other for just over three years, but she has been there through thick and thin. We met when I was in crisis and I was thrown into a situation of risk, but my choice of trusting a very new friend paid off.
Similarly coaching usually happens at a point of challenge, or crisis, or change and can be an anxious time. It calls for risk, risk that you can trust the coach. Risk that you will get on, that there will be a ‘chemistry’between you.
Risking vulnerability with my friend has resulted in a relationship of trust, whereby we are both real with each other. We both encourage and support each other and both believe in the ability of the other.
Coaching has similarities as a trusting relationship is formed. It relies on the ability of the coach to create a safe space for the client to risk vulnerability, whilst holding belief in the client’s resourcefulness to make it through. I suppose the belief must be both ways, coach to client and client to coach.
So with nothing to say, my journey of coaching continues as I refine my thoughts. Of course for me, congruence is of ultimate value in any relationship, and so today I end this blog with thoughts of my mum.
I visited her twice today, twice because she was so sad when I left her in the hospital the first time. On the second visit we played cards, a haphazard version of rummy. As I laughed with her I recognised how much this very special lady has done for me. Through thick and thin she has been my greatest champion and now, I must summon up the energy to be everything for her. She created trust and I risked vulnerability. Now its my turn to create trust as she becomes more vulnerable.